Divorce Satistics

Let’s test our Knowledge

Does a Better Relationship Mean Better Health?

In my previous post, I talked about some of the Benefits of a happy marriage. In this post, I’m going to elaborate more on the health benefits of a happy marriage.

It is widely known that married people tend to live longer and healthier than single people, but do we know why? For one, married people exhibit safer behaviors than single people. More single people suffer from substance abuse and alcoholism than married people. Married people are socially connected, they have that support system and confidant. Married people are healthier because they have someone to remind them of healthy behaviors, for an example they have someone to remind of their doctor’s appointment, and couples can usually mimic each other healthy behaviors. The article has more interesting information, if you’re interested in the rest, the link is below.

http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/relationships-marriage-and-health

Happy Marriage, Happy life

An Article by Susan Heitler Ph.D. in Psychology Today Talks about the benefits of a happy marriage. Most people know that married people have a financial advantage over people that are single, but there are other benefits besides finances. People in happy marriages tend to be physically healthier, and happier than those single or in unhappy marriages.  The article also talks about way to divorce proof your marriage and to remain happy in your marriage. A link to the full article is below.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201109/happy-marriage-happy-life

9 Effective Ways to Build a Long Lasting Marriage

The Longer a couple stays together, it’s easy for them to get comfortable, get bored, and not have much to talk about. with these things, some people may be feel that they’re not as connected with their partners as they once were, and that the the fire in their relationship has burned out. Here are nine effective ways to build or rebuild a long lasting marriage.

Reinvent the spark-  Do the things that once kept your partners on their toes. Some suggestions could be; impromptu dates, flowers just because (girls can give flowers too), and taking a vacation, just to name a few.

Give space– the phrase “absence makes the heart grow fonder” is true. Once you’re married it’s easy to get lost in your married life. Even though in marriage two become one, you’re still your own person, and your partner is still their own person, by allowing your partner do their own thing and you do yours, it not only encourages independents it also give you guys something to talk about.

communication, communication, communication- communication cannot be stressed enough. it’s okay to argue, as long as it’s done constructively. Lack of communication often leads to misunderstanding. If something’s bothering you, let your partner know. Communication doesn’t only involve talking, it also involves listening.

To prevent this post from becoming long and drawn out, I’m going to stop here, but I’ll post the link to the rest of the article

http://happyhealthyrelationships.com/9-effective-ways-to-build-a-long-lasting-marriage/

The Secret to a Long Successful Marriage

Hey guys, as you may or may not know, I have not blogged in a while because my family and I have been going through some tough times. Things are starting to settle a little, so hopefully I can get back on track

Anyway, here is a video of a couple that’s been married for 72 years, giving marital advice to their newly wed grandson. The video is quite humorous and lighthearted. Hopefully you enjoy watching it as much as I did.  

Generosity and Kindness

As I was scrolling down my news feed on Faceebook, This article caught my attention. The Article states that happy lasting relationships and marriages comes down to two basic traits, Kindness and Generosity. Psychologists John Gottman and Robert Levenson set up “The Love Lab” at the University of Washington. the Psychologists brought newlyweds into the lab and observed them interact with each other. Gottman and Levenson along with other researchers hooked the couples up to electrodes and asked them to speak of their relationship. The electrodes measured the participants’ blood flow, heart rate and how much sweat they produced. After this study the couples were followed up 6 years later to see if they were still together.

From the information gathered, Gotttman seperated the couples into two major groups: the masters (couples that were still happily married after six years) and the disasters (couples that were either broken up or were chronically unhappy in their marriages). When the research was analyzed, there was an apparent difference between the two groups. Although when interviewed, the disasters appeared calmed, their physiology told a different story. their hearts beat fast, their sweat glands were very active, and their blood flow was fast. Gottman found that the more physiologically active the couples were in the lab, the quicker their relationship deteriorated over time. By contrast, the masters showed low physiological arousal. They felt calm and connected together which translated into warm and affectionate behavior even when they fought. The masters had created a climate of trust and intimacy that made both of them more emotionally and thus physically comfortable.

Gottman was interested in how the masters created a culture of love and intimacy and how the disasters jeopardized it. So he created another followup study in 1990. on the University of Washington He created a lab to resemble a bed and breakfast retreat. He invited 130 newlywed couples to spend the day at this retreat and watched them as they did what couples normally do on vacation. While observing, Gottman made a crucial discovery. couples who were still together “had turned toward bids” 87 percent of the time. Meaning they paid attention to their partner’s emotional needs even if it were minute. Nine times out of ten these people met their partner’s emotional needs.

Gottman found that kindness glues couples together. kindness makes each partner feel cared for, understood, and validated. a great deal of research has shown that the more someone receives or witnesses kindness, the more they will be kind themselves. kindness can be thought of in two ways, a fixed trait: your either have it or you don’t, or you can think of it as a muscle. The muscle of kindness is naturally stronger in some people than others, but it can  grow stronger in everyone with exercise. Masters tend to think of kindness as a muscle. It may be hard to practice kindness sometimes, take for an example during a fight, but that may be the most important time to be kind. letting contempt and aggression spiral out of control during a conflict can inflict irrevocable damage on a relationship. Kindness doesn’t mean don’t express your anger, kindness allows us to choose how we express the anger.

In most marriages, especially today; levels of satisfaction drops significantly within the first few years together. But among couples  who not only endure, but live happily together for years and years, the spirit of generosity and kindness guides them forward.

Science Says Lasting Relationships Come Down To 2 Basic Traits

Femininity. . . happy marriage??

The chapter read in my Psych of Gender class this week was titled Romantic Relationships. While reading the chapter, I came across some interesting points and thought to my self, “this would make a great blog post!”

According to Helgeson, “the happiest and longest lasting relationships are ones in which one partner is either androgynous or feminine, regardless of the partner’s gender role” (Antill 1983). As you’re reading, you may be wondering to yourself, what in the world does  the term androgynous mean? Androgynous simply refers to  someone who incorporates both feminine and masculine qualities. With that being said , femininity rather than masculinity is more strongly tied to marital satisfaction. this isn’t strange because femininity reflects a focus on others, involving caring, warmth, and understanding; all qualities we would expect a good marriage/relationship to have.

Helgeson, Vicki S. (2008). Psychology of gender. (3rd ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson  Publishing.

Good evening everyone, my name is Marcia. The topic I chose to blog about was marriage and happiness. I think this topic is important because in recent years, the divorce rates have soared past the rate of people who stayed married. back in the day, people stayed married and happy for a long time, but in today’s society because divorce is so easily accessible, people don’t want to stay and work out their problems. I’m interested in finding out what constitutes a long happy marriage.